Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Daybook catching up, clearing the fog and getting back in the swing of things

Outside my window...cloudy, no rain, humid and slightly breezy. Still getting into the low 90's when it looks like it should be cooler out.

I am thinking...Hope is pretty cute when she sees me outside, "Meeeeeeah-meeeeeeah!" 

I am family, husband, kids, life and friends. I'm thankful to come out of a foggy depression that took a hold of me in August. I have so much to be thankful for, I can't let little disappointments weigh me down. "I can, I should, I ought I will" has been my mental mantra lately.

I am praying for...renewal. Renewal of spirit and of life.

My sister Katherine knows me pretty well. After August, we talked about things I hadn't already told her and how stressed I had been, emotional, disappointed, scared, shaken. She just said I need a retreat. It's so true. But we just started our school year with commitments and outings at over the calendar, when could I get away? An at home retreat pulled my attention. I haven't been able to concentrate of reading spiritual topics and knew I'd have trouble. I have started many recommended books to me for spiritual dryness, but again nothing held my attention in this distracted state I live in. I have trouble focusing on the rosary.

What I needed was time alone with God. Time to talk to Jesus and just listen. Our parish is in the middle of a fund raising capital campaign and our priest schedules over night adoration hours. I picked wee early morning, and was surprised two of my girls wanted to join me. It was the salve my soul needed to get started. We stayed two of the hour slots and took a break in between and returned for benediction.

I treasured the silence. No one demanding my attention, my action, just peace, silence and prayer.
I prayed and thanked and pleaded and asked and I sat and kneeled in silence.

 May the heart of Jesus, in the Most Blessed Sacrament, be praised, adored, and loved with grateful affection, at every moment, in all the tabernacles of the world, even to the end of time. Amen.

What I love the most about our faith is that you can never learn it all, there is always some beauty yet to unfold. Saints are one of those treasures. I learned about Evagrius and his words on prayer.

starting the siding renewal project on this end of the house since it is in the worst shape.

In the kitchen...chicken and rice casserole cooking on the stove today. I'm back to one dish meals, mostly, with a veggie side or two. I especially enjoy the crock pot pot roast. Once a week I throw a pork roast with soy sauce, Parmesan cheese, onion and garlic and a little water and cook away all day until it is all so tender. Serve with corn bread sticks makes me wish for fall temperature.

This week has been busy. Lilly had her first CCD class Sunday. The teacher is so dear and good with 5 and 6 year old children. Lilly beamed on the way home retelling stories she learned in class. She is trying harder on memorizing her prayers so she can recite in class. Thank God for holy women volunteers!

I had the opportunity to sub for first communion, it is a large class this year! From a couple years back with two students, up to 19 this year! I look forward to first communion in May.
I thought them the 10 commandment shortcut, reviewed prayers and all about Saint Monica. What a great group of kids. I look forward to subbing, glad I don't have the responsibility of class with admin of CCD classes this year. We will have a confirmation as well. I love being involved with sacrament prep and administration. It's so rewarding. I'm hoping some graces spill to me.

big kid now

Lilly had her first class with HMNS science days on Monday. She needs to work on writing her name and practice scissors. She's left handed and cutting looks a bit dangerous. She had a good time and learned a lot.

She didn't want to touch the frog but loved learning about magnets.

I am going.. to have some of my friend Traci's kids for the weekend. They have 9 and she's spreading the ones still at home out to family and friends. We only get three because my older kids are going to be gone and hers will have more fun elsewhere. Euly is helping her dad move his mom's things and Nick is working at the scout adventure camp.

We have piano and Nick's class and more dadgum car repair. Hopefully truck is repaired before Friday. We are going into many directions to carpool.

I am reading...
Ralph Moody's series. We finished book two. So much good family experience, hard working, American spirit of never say die. It is inspirational to see how hard they worked and how inventive, it is quite motivating. Great quotes! We laugh out loud together.

I came across this essay by John Muir about a very special experience with a special dog. I love his writing style too.

I am watching...the girls run in from the chicken coop carrying an egg cartoon fill of today's egg haul, worried the rooster was quick on their heels. This time he wasn't.

MacBeth, a Bbc version. We have taken this on as a fall project with our little Shakespeare group. The kids have parts assigned and are trying to follow their parts. We may not have enough for the full play, but may do a shortened version.

Person of Interest ... Detective/mystery type series we found on Netflix. It has Jim Caviezel,  I'm a fan. We have something to watch together.
I am pondering... getting Dish for channels. But I'm an election season addict, and it might be best not to be tempted to over indulge. Also, commercials. Lilly hasn't been influenced before, and I kind of really like it that way. But our internet and cell service is so infuriatingly bad, I'm talking -remember dial up days?, we're stuck in the earliest stingiest of bandwidth.

I am looking forward to...the Hummingbird Festival this weekend at our favorite local nature center.

Around the house...we are starting the long process of cleaning, then power washing, then weather sealing windows and then water sealing the cedar siding. Months ahead of work, good fall project. Also, I'd like to get the garden layout planned this fall.

A favorite quote/verse/prayer for today...
My God, I believe, I adore, I hope, and I love You. I ask pardon for those who do not believe, do not adore, do not hope, and do not  love You.

A few plans for the rest of the present in activities that I'm needed to do. So much to run and do, classes, appointments, errands, but I need to not focus on those but how I am present in the doing of those activities so I can be a helpmate for Craig and a good loving mom for these kids.

A peek into my day...from around here this afternoon:

He's doing better managing his anger, he still needs an attitude adjustment reminder to leave us alone every couple of days.

Brooder boxes. These two ladies like to hang out here much of the day,

Guineas boldly take over the coop, in the daytime, the chicken still are the bosses at night.

these girls love the peacocks

I hope they always stay tame.

The power company finally came along a cleared the neighbors side of the power line easement. Good place to spot deer crossing.

I love how there is always something interesting on a nature walk, never the exact same thing.


  1. Perpetual adoration chapels give us the physical and oases we so need as moms. I will pray for you every time I go to one. As always, thank you for the inspiring glimpses into your life and your family.

    1. Marcia, what a dear friend you are. Thank you! You're in my prayers as well!
      I have lived near perpetual adoration chapels in the past and regretfully never frequented enough. Now that I have more time to do so, it's hard to find one available out here in the country.

  2. Your pictures, oh Mary! I love your blog for many reasons, but mainly your photos. You make everything come to life in them.

    I'm also glad to hear how much better you are feeling. I"m so sorry that depression had a grip on you and am grateful for your candid thoughts about it. When people talk about these things, they help so many others.

    I'm seriously still planning to come down. Especially for the darn blue bell ice cream!

    1. Patty, your comments just make my day! Thank you! I love taking photos, it helps me refocus
      my attention toward positives.

      Well, come on, we can have blue bell:
      plain, coke floats, ice cream sundaes, banana splits, brownie sundae... Whatever sounds good! Hehe ;)

      Hopefully they stop "eating all they can".. And just get some up north for you guys. (Do they still have that commercial out there?)

  3. I sink easy sometimes also. My worry is what drives me crazy. I worry about getting cancer way too much.

    That rooster has a crazy look in his eye! Love your pictures. All the animals and children. My favorite.

    1. Children and animals pics are always my favorite, too! :)
      And the roster is crazy or has a death wish.

  4. So pleased to hear your depression fog is lifting. You have been under enormous stress. Then again looking at all the balls you are juggling... well life sure doesn't get simpler the older our children get {{}} Take care, friend

    1. Thanks Erin! It makes me think of a quote of how being a mother is deciding to have our hearts walk around outside our bodies.