Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Keeping lists

So it looks like I have turned into a "list" person, even the title of my jounal/blog warns of it. I even dedicated a journal for '12 goals - it's in ink, heck, its on the internet. Of course I know I could not help but be one; my mother always had her little list written in her neat and delicate curive in .5 lead, and I've always admired her ability to get things done. I know I desire to be more organized and I hope that this a way to get there. My days are so crazy with the kids; I crave organization to feel more control over my life.
These past three years, I have really been out of control, feeling I am holding the tail end of a ribbon whipping around without a plan. I want to control my destiny. Of course, its more than a list that will do that for me, its self control I am desiring: control of my self - my enviornment and my life, then also turning that control over to God which I can't and should not have. Phew! Sounds like a lot of work, but I will get there - baby steps. I know I have been this far down the road beginning a few times before. The most recent was the year we were preparing to go to Europe and I needed to be in control. Then just before we returned, pregnancy, holy house enrollment, basic rolling along - I let loose.
I have Craig next to me this time, so I do believe it will be different. How many second chances do we get? do we need?

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